What's in a name?

My mother disliked nicknames and always corrected others for calling me anything except Janay. As an adult, my best friend and my husband called me Nay, others Naynay.

 

So, I created a special name for social media as I began to share my poetry, like a brand, Janaythepoet. (I guess that means I am the brand.) However, I independently published my work using my full name.

Today, it matters not what others call me.  I only want to share my journey, so that others do not feel alone. There is always hope. 

So, if you see a poem by Janaythepoet, know that is me and know you have found a friend. 

 

Love,

Janaythepoet

We are all just walking each other home. ~Ram Dass

From THE APRIL FOOL: A Memoir about Janaythepoet

by Janay Collins Kimble

 

RECOVERY JOURNEY

 

October 8, 2023, I made a decision to stop drinking alcohol. I knew the enemy I faced; however, I had no idea just how very difficult it would be. I lost nearly everything I owned and spent several weeks in a behavioral health facility. Nearly 20 have passed since I needed that level of care. A very kind stranger drove me to a sober-living house where I attended classes to educate and support me through this process. And it is quite the process, indeed!

 

I began attending church with my husband at the beginning of 2024. Soon after my father passed away. I attended church services at Encounter the morning of his funeral and found that it helped me deal with his passing. I felt a sense of peace along with my grief that I cannot explain any other way than a gift from God.

 

My father made sure we attended church when I was young. He was a true Christian because he lived a life worthy of the calling of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. I loved Jesus at an early age and was baptized in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. However, as often happens, the trials of life lead me away from church. I was rebellious and obstinate. I had been hurt deeply by a member of the church and turned to drugs and alcohol to numb my pain. Rather than running to God, I ran away from Him.

 

By the end of 2023 my life had become unmanageable. My husband and I were both addicted to substances. We lost our home and many of our possessions. We had nowhere to go and sought shelter at my husband’s place of employment – a night club.  I watched as my husband detoxed from his drug of choice. I called whoever I could until I found some help. My husband went to treatment, and I moved to a sober-living home. I knew that I needed to put God first in my life and that we would never recover if we did not seek Him first.

 

Over the last year, I have maintained my sobriety while attending church, and this has changed my life. I work diligently in a twelve-step program and give all the glory to God for my recovery. It has not been easy, but my faith has grown immensely. God has restored so much in my life.

 

Most of my life I thought I was somehow cursed because I was born on April Fool’s Day.  Now, I will own this title to remind me of the challenges I have overcome even though I was foolish enough to run away from the all-powerful creator, the higher power, the loving father that makes me whole.

 

I have grown spiritually because of my experience at church. I have even started lifting my hands during worship, and it is freedom that I have never known. Today, I know that God has a plan and a purpose for my life. As I imagine my father watching me from his Heavenly home, I hear his voice and know that he is proud. I look forward to seeing him again in Heaven.  For it is by the grace of God that we have been saved. Praise God and Thank you Jesus for saving my life and saving my soul. As for me, there is no other way.

 

One Year Sober - 10.08.24

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